The following relationship "advice" is purely satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only — please do not cite us in divorce court.

Each week, we'll be rounding up the internet's most interesting relationship questions and chiming right in. From nightmare first dates to exploring new fetishes, we're leaving no corner of the internet unexplored.

AITA For Thinking My Husband Is Being A D**K For Saying 'His Money' Paid For Our House

Throwaway, should be a short post

My (35f) husband (37m) and I have recently moved into a new home - a bigger home - where we're hoping on raising our kids (5f, 3f, 2m) .

Well, I do not work currently. I have a degree to get a job that will pay me well, but my husband and I both decided that I should stop working for a bit to help with the kids. My husband makes a lot (in my opinion, and in general) and it's mostly his money paying for the house. And because of this fact, he has taken a liking to calling our house "his house" instead of "Our house." This has annoyed me a bit, but I've just been going with it. And every time I bring it up he goes "Yeah, right."

I reached my breaking point about two days ago when my husband has his friends over, and he made a remark saying "My money did this." I was very, very upset at the remark, but I waited until his friends left, then I kind of flipped him off, to which I eventually called him a huge dk for continuing to say "his" after I told him that I don't like the phrase. He's been sleeping in the guest room since, and we really haven't been talking.

I'm asking here to see if im the ass for what I said here.

EDIT: Holy crawp I didn't expect this post to blow up like it did, but let me just make some things clear:

• My husband isn't a narcissist or financial abuser. The house is one of the only thing he actually calls "his." Most of our other things or assets he calls "Ours" even though he's bought most of it. This post is just mainly about the house.

• No, we will not be getting a divorce. I love my husband and I know he loves me too, but he can be a bit over-confident. He's a good dad and is determined to give me and my children a nice life.

We're so grateful you understand that conflict shouldn't equal canceling somebody in your life. Too often, we can set ourselves up for failure when we expect perfection from having a partner. Listen, he messed up, folks, and he's sleeping on the couch for it. What more do y'all want Reddit commenters, a pound of freakin' flesh? Now, go enjoy those cute kids before they grow up and start asking for Mr. Beast products. Read the rest of the thread here.

Is It Normal To Feel Awkward If My GF Asked Me To Pleasure Myself In Front Of Her

I feel like people here might say "Oh it's a boundary for you so don't do it" but here is some additional context. Gf of 6mo finally admitted (after weeks of her hinting at wanting to bring something up but being too shy to say it) to me that she had been fantasizing for a while about watching me jerk off. To me, this feels insanely awkward, and I have negative interest in doing this.

The thing is, I reckon saying "No" would be insanely discouraging to her sharing her fantasies and being open. In addition, she has done anything I wanted, including stuff she was apprehensive about ((ie, tying her up, anal, using a vibrator, cumming on her face, in her (IUD, trying to deepthroat, swallowing, etc )))

So, it would be a super dick move to be like "Actually, the one time you want to do something, we can't". She knows from past mutual friends that I have a "high body count" and views me as an outgoing/confident person, so I think it would alter her perception of me for me to be like "Actually I'm too shy" lol.

Should I just get really drunk and do it? Or tell her "sorry babe, I know you did every single thing I ever asked for, but I won't jerk off in front of you, its a 'boundary' of mine" lol.

pls help

Goodness, we're clutching our pearls reading the Reddit suggestions over here, even if we think they're missing the bigger point. You need to get creative, friend. Who's to say you can't set up a "24-hour live stream" which is really just a recording you make for her? Honestly, next time y'all are about to take that cigarette break, roll over and ask her to elaborate a bit more on her fetish. Not only will this probably turn her on again, but she'll like that you asked. Read the rest of the thread here.

My Fiance's Mommy Issues Are Starting To Freak Me Out

I F24 am weirded out by my fiancées M26 words. We have been together for 8 months.

Yesterday we were messing about with Snapchat filters when we got to the one where it makes you look old. He literally said “Oh my god you look exactly like my mum”. I looked absolutely nothing like her besides the skin tone (we’re both South Asian).

A few weeks ago, he also called me “mom” during an argument we had. I told him that I felt weird about it and he said it was an accident and it was only because I was being “bossy” and it reminded him of his mom.

He is incredibly close to his mom, tells her practically everything, and I’ve never thought much into that until now.

I don’t know if I’m overthinking this but I feel incredibly weirded out and since then I have been acting off with him and he’s starting to notice.

What do I do in this situation?

TLDR: my fiancée called me mom and said I look like her and now I feel weird and awkward around him

EDIT: I spoke to my fiancée, mentioned the Oedipus complex and how men tend to go for women who look like their mothers (subconsciously) and now he's mad at me and accusing me of calling him a weirdo.

This is the problem with getting married so young, you still have way too many better options. Then one day you're fifty, and suddenly even a guy with an arrest warrant starts to sound all fun. Here's the thing, though: maybe you should be asking yourself if you can forgive him and move past this overall pretty trivial thing. Seriously, he's not asking to do a "Mrs. Doubtfire" roleplay with you now, he just misspoke. Ignore the comment section while you're at it. It seriously just sounds like a lot of projecting onto your situation. Read the rest of the thread here.

Sex With My Wife Is No Longer Pleasurable

I M25 hate having sex with my wife F29.

It's always the exact same routine, in the bed, lights off, her on her back doing nothing...

In the 7 years we've been together she's never initiated sex, never wants to explore kinks and refuses try any other positions, she's never even tried sexting me or sent a nude.

When we first got together we seemed to I would always make sure she cums first but have since realised that means she's finished with sex.

We've had numerous conversations about my lack of satisfaction that have never come to anything. She'd always say that she'll try harder, and that things will improve, first it was once we live together, then once we're engaged, then when we're married, each milestone has changed nothing.

Over the years I've stopped Initiating. I don't ask anymore because I know what it'll be like and I dread it.

Hoping to hear experience from couples who've overcome something like this?

First off, why did an 18-year-old boy marry a 22-year-old woman? Honestly, it's technically a high school senior marrying a college senior, at least age-wise. You need to move on, man, ignore the comments gaslighting you saying you don't love her. Listen, you can love someone with your whole heart, but if there's no sexual chemistry, perhaps you're better off as friends. That's the problem — people think you can only get love from a romantic relationship. In reality, you get it from having a full life. Right now, you do not have that, and you two should move on before your youth passes completely, and is replaced with just resentment. Read the rest of the thread here.

Check out last week's edition here.

[Image credit: Anna Shvets]